Glitter
by Eevee2010
Summary: I don't want to reveal too much, but basically: Pearl Conner is a 20 year old singer who's being haunted by memories of her childhood.


**Hej, to all of you Once Upon A Time fans!  
My (use) name is Eevee2010 (there's a reason why)  
and this is my first fiction and you must bear with me.  
Because I am more of a sing/songwriter, but  
I do hope that you guys will like it because it took me 11 days to finish this chapter, but don't worry I'm working on the second chapter as "we" speak. =)**

**Memories from a song.**

'Reflections of your love  
Have come to wither  
I thought I'd done my best to memorize  
A picture fades of you and I together  
I haven't come to terms  
With how we said goodbye'  
Most people believe that this is just an ordinary song and they aren't far from being right, but taken from my own experiences and what I had to go through as an eight-year old kid. Isn't something little ones should know and be able to sing this song facing thousands of people without crying.  
Because of memories I'd long thought had faded away returns as a blow below wasn't easy. Fortunately, I was rasied by a loving couple and grew up without any questions about my background and learned how to block my past and pretend that none of it had happened. I really thought I had done a good job. Util the day my manager contacted me about a song he wanted me to listen to. I asked him to send the CD because I was a bit busy with moving both new furniture and old stuff to my new apartment. I felt both: joy, sadness and excited to move from a house I practically grew up in to get to spread out my wings and fly like a butterfly. A feeling of emptiness filled my heart as I looked around. The walls seemed naked without all my posters and photo frames. My bed and both of my dresser drawers were no longer there. Even my TV:e was gone. The only thing that still had capacity to fill up the room where my desk. It felt a bit strange to look at it. Normally there used to be piles of: notepads, books, CDs, pens, a laptop and a lamp.  
I opened up the door to my closet to see what I needed to clean out. When I suddenly spot a box that I haven't seen for 12 years. Curiosity may be a sin, but it strike me and I couldn't resist. I walked up to it and picked it up. I carried it out and placed it on my desk. I opened it up and jump in suprise when I saw this strange glittering light in all these wonderful colours.  
I can't describe what I felt on the inside and even if everyone around me knows that I'm not the one who believes in magic, but I'd be lying if I didn't think it was incredible. When the fireworks had subsided and the fog had lifted I could finally explore the things that were inside the box.  
My first bargain I noticed was a pink baby blanket with white bows around the edge with my name on it. "Pearl" written with purple letters. I knew instantly that the pain that I had escaped for so long was now on it's way with all these questions I have ignored all these years. A pile of old photographs with three familiar faces caught my attentions.  
Everyone looked so happy.  
Tears I didn't know I held back were now raining down from my face. While flashbacks from that horrible day played itself as an old movie inside my head.  
How could everything that seemed so perfect end up in such grief?  
'Did you really care  
care at all for me  
did you really care  
did you care at all for me?'  
I smiled happily at it before I walked out from my bedroom to fetch my pures which was hanging on a hook out in the hallway. I walked back into my bedroom after I had stashed the image away in my wallet. I returned to the matter that I had with the box that was still placed on my desk.  
I laid my eyes on the bkanket before I picked it up to put it back in the box again. When a red leather bag fell out of it and onto the floor.  
I bent down to pick it up right before I heard someone knocked on my door. I walked out from my bedroom again with the bag in my hand and knew by the weight that it contained more than money. I took a good look at the bag before I put it in my pocket and open up the door for the person who had just a few seconds ago knocked on it.  
When I opened the door to let the person in. I noticed that no one was there. Question marks were hanging over my head and without even thinking I began to swore to the neighbor kids. As I jumped to the conclusion that would sound logical in everyones ears, but since I couldn't prove it was them. Who had just, just for fun'd knocked on my door and ran away I simple apologized, but before I decided to close the door and return to the things I was doing. I got this feeling that I needed to check that no one was standing around the corner. Waiting for me to close the door only to get to knock again just to annoy me, but no one was there. I returned back to the house and saw a package sticking out of the mailbox. I grabbed it and noticed by the shape that it must be the CD I asked my manager to send. I walked back into the house and closed the door behind me. I looked down at the package and walked into my bedroom. I pulled out one of my moving boxes that contained more things than necessary. I lifted up my old CD player and opened up the package and out came the CD with "Reflections" written in the center with back letters. I placed myself on the floor next to the CD player and placed the CD in the CD player and pressed play.  
I began to sing along with the lyrics that came with the CD.

'Reflections of your love  
Have come to wither  
I thought I'd done my best to memorize  
A picture fades of you and I together  
I haven't come to terms  
With how we said goodbye

Did you really care  
Care at all for me  
Did you really care  
Did you care at all for me

A displaced little girl  
Wept years in silence  
And whispered wishes you'd materialize  
She pressed on night and day  
To keep on living  
And tried to many ways  
To keep her soul alive

Did you really care  
Care enough for me  
Did you really care  
Did you care at all for me,

I froze and immediately stopped singing when I read  
"If I'm not quite good enough  
Or somehow undeserving of  
A mother's love

You could have had the decency  
To give me up  
Before you gave me life"  
Tears began to crumble down my face while memories of a time. I long thought I had manage to outrun appeared and broke me down.  
I don't remember so much of what really happened or why it happened in the first place because everything went by so fast. Except that we were all in tears.  
I turned off the music and just sat there crying for what felt like hours until it all began to feel much better again.  
I started to stand up and walk out from my bedroom and into the kitchen to pour myself a drink.  
I pulled out one of the chairs and placed myself on it. I looked out through the window and noticed that the sun was going down and the December wind was now blowing in the trees and made them dance. Away in the distance the carolers was singing n the snow.  
I reached out my right hand to press the button on the radio to turn it on when I suddenly heard Mariah Carey sing:  
'I miss you  
Most at Christmas time  
And I can't get you  
Get you off my mind  
Every other season comes along  
And I'm all right  
But then I miss you  
Most at Christmas time'  
I felt my tears crumble down my face again while I stared out into the blue. Before I returned to reality and quickly turned off the radio. I can't seem to understand this day, or why memories that I haven't thought of in years. Has suddenly appeared.  
I took one good look out the window and saw how fast the snow began to fold like a white blanket covering the ground. I looked down at my glass and noticed the liquid I drank just a few seconds ago was gone. I pulled out the chair and immediately began to stand up. I walked over to the sink and began to wash the glass before I put it back in the cupboard again.  
When I was finished, I decided to take a shower before I start loading moving boxes into my car and drive them to my new place. I walked into my bedroom and pulled out a suitcase that contained new clothes, a towel and a hairbrush, but I only took the towel with me. When I walked into the badroom and started to undress just to step into this warm embrace of hot water.  
I allowed the water to wash my face from the tears I cried eariler today before I poured shampoo and conditioner in my brown shoulder length hair. I grabbed the red shower gel bottle with stawberry scent and began to pour some on a sponge before I started to clean my skin with it.  
I stood under the shower for several minutes and just allowed the water to just wash it all away before I decided to step out.  
I grabbed the towel that was hanging on a hook and wrapped it around myself. I opened up the door to the bathroom and walked out and straight into my bedroom to change.  
I walked up to my suitcase and held a pair of white underwear in my hand before I pulled them on. Shortly I pulled on a pair of light blue jeans and a baby pink top that ended a bit over my belly along with a pair of baby pink high heels. People think that I am a bit weird because it's winter and snow lies like cupcake frosting on the ground, but I am a twenty year old girl practically a woman who loves high heels.  
I walked out from my bedroom and into the bathroom again to pick up my dirty cloths. I leaned forward to pick up my black sweat pants and was about to pick up my T-shirt in the same colour. When the leather bag that I tucked into my pocket a few hours ago fell down onto the wet bathroom floor with a light thud.

I looked down at it with questioning eyes and wondered curiously what it contained before I returned to reality by the sound of a car that drove up the driveway. I leaned forwards to pick it up when suddenly I heard a deep voice calling out my namn, "Pearl!" I knew exactly who it was and smiled to myself before I stuffed the bag I was holding in my right pocket. I walked out of the bathroom and out into the hallway only to be greeted by a pair of strong arms.  
"Hey, Gustav." I heard myself say and felt how slow our grip on each other began to loosen. "What brought you here?" I asked before I freed him entirely from my grasp. He looked down at me with his chocolate brown eyes and started at me before I heard him say, "I remembered that today is the day you move into your new apartment and decided to be kind and help you, just as the big brother I am." I smiled at him and replied back, "Thank you. That was very kind of you." Nah, don't mention it! Besides, it was more of a last minute thing." "I could have lived without that knowledge, you know?" I answered him back with a sarcastic tone.  
He smiled at me and placed a kiss on my forehead before he walked away and straight into my bedroom. I stood right where he had left me. I could still feel his lips on my forehead, which made me drift off into a wonderland only to return to reality. When I heard him say, "Are you going to just stand there and continue to stare out into the blue, or be the angel you are and open up the door?" I started at him, but couldn't see his face because of the boxes he was carring. I walked up to him and opened up the door and saw him walk out and straight to his car. He placed them on the ground just to make it more easier to find the key.  
I stood and watched him struggle for a while. Before I turned around and walked into my bedroom.  
I noticed the mess I had made during the day. The suitcase lay open and revealed what it contained. The package with the CD and the lyrics lay next to the CD player. I walked over and placed myself on the floor and picked up the piece of paper. I read it before my words broke out into the song.

'Reflections of your love  
Have come to wither  
I thought I'd done my best to memorize  
A picture fades of you and I together  
I haven't come to terms  
With how we said goodbye

Did you really care  
Care at all for me  
Did you really care  
Did you care at all for me

A displaced little girl  
Wept years in silence  
And whispered wishes you'd materialize  
She pressed on night and day  
To keep on living  
And tried to many ways  
To keep her soul alive

Did you really care  
Care enough for me  
Did you really care  
Did you care at all for me

If I'm not quite good enough  
Or somehow undeserving of  
A mother's love

You could have had the decency  
To give me up  
Before you gave me life

Don't you even care  
Just the slightest bit for me  
Cause I really need to feel you cared  
Even once upon a time for me  
I need to believe, in my heart of heart of hearts, you care for me  
I need to understand  
Why you left me there so helplessly

Don't you even care  
Care at all for me

Reflections of your love  
Have come to wither  
I thought I'd done my best to memorize'

I jumped a little in surprise when I heard Gustav's voice say, "That was beautiful. A bit sad, but beautiful."  
I smiled up at him and wondered while my tears continued to rain down from my face how long he had been there.  
Concern struck him in the face and walked directly towards me. He placed himself beside me and laid his arms around me and asked, "Why are you crying?"  
I placed my head on his chest while my tears continued to crumble down from my face like a waterfall. He placed his hand on my back and guide it up and down in a comforting way and tried to make it all alright.  
I told him about the box I had found in my closet and what it contained.  
Gustav just sat there with his arms around me holding me close while he heard me out. I went ahead and told him about the CD Darren my manager had sent to me. Suddenly I heard how Gustav broke out in laughter, without losing his grip on me. I just stared at him with a confused look before I heard his apology and began to explain himself, "I can understand the reason behind your memories and feelings because of the box in your closet, but the CD you received is just a song. Pearl, it can't hurt you." I just kept staring at him while he continued, "All that you had to go through scared and alone as a little child wasn't your fault and just to make things more clear. You'll never be alone! Not as long as you got me and when I'm not around I'll always be here..." I suddenly felt his hand on my left side of my chest and looked straight into his chocolate brown eyes before our lips collided against each other with passion.  
Every single cell in my brain screamed out in panic and told me that I should pulled away, but my body didn't receive the order. Instead, I felt more relaxed in his warm and safe embrace.  
My heart had melted to jelly and I didn't wanted this moment to ever end. We broke away to catch our breath and heard how apologized, "This is wrong in every possible way We shouldn't have acted in that way! We - I should have known better than to take advantage of this sad situation!"  
I started at him with tears in my eyes and wondered if he regretted that he had kissed me because that was how it sounded and then I asked him, "If you knew? Why didn't you pull away?" "Why didn't you?" He asked back, "Because I liked it." He smiled at me and rested his forehead against mina and replied back, "I'd be lying to you if I said I liked it and truth be told: I loved it." We smiled at each other before he lossen his grip on me and started to stand up. He looked down at me and reached out his right and to help me up before he turned and began to carry out some moving boxes. I saw him walk out of my bedroom and placed myself on my knees on the floor again beside my suitcase and started to pick up my clothes, the towel and my hairbrush only to put them back and close it.  
Gustav went back and forth with two boxes in his hands each time until he returned and noticed that all that remained was the suitcase and my desk, "I have no room for it in my car, but if you want I can go back and get it tomorrow?" I just shook my head and reply, "It isn't necessary, but thank you anyway. Besides, I know mom LeAnn have some ideas how she can recycle it." "Okej." he replied back and saw me carry out my suitcase out from my bedroom as he continued with a question, "Should I take that for you?" I smiled at him before I answer back, "No, that's okej, but thank you anyway."  
We stood in the hallway when I suddenly felt Gustav's eyes burned me. I stared back at him with questioning eyes before he said, "Are you really going dressed like that?"  
I didn't really understand what he meant and walked over to the mirror that hung on the wall. I saw my own reflection and asked back, "What's wrong with this? I'm hot!"  
Gustav just stood in the doorway and smiled at me and reply back, "Firstly, I didn't say there was anything wrong with your style. Secondly, yes, you're looking good, but it will not be of any use for you out there, because it's freezing, snowing very slippery because of the ice."  
I continued to stare at my reflection in the mirror and answer back, "You got a point there, but I'll be wearing a coat."  
Gustav roll his eyes at me and reply back, "All right, Miss - smarty - pants, what are you supposed to do about the shoes? With them, you'll definitely end up on your butt." I looked down at my feet and back up at Gustav before I shook my head and reply back, "That won't happen because I know you would catch me if I fell."  
Gustav stuck out his tongue at me in a playful way before we walked out through the door and straight to his black Toyota.

I was just about to open up the car door on the passenger side - when my phone started ringing. I gave Gustav a confused look - meaning that I wasn't expecting a call. He returned the gaze and I opened up my purse and picked my iPhone which low protected in a white cover painted with colorful butterflies. A picture of Darren - my manager covered the screen. "Hey, Darren!" I answered with a suprised voice, "Miss Conner." answered Darren back before he continued with his question, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you get the CD I asked you to listen through?" "Yes, I received it today. I also took the time to hear it out," "but?" continued Darren. "It's a wonderful song, but a little depressed because of all the emotions. It's a song that's okey to record on an album, but not to perform. a concert should be a fun experience." I explained with a calm voice while Darren got silence for a while until I heard him take a deep breath and let out the question, "Let me get this straight - you perceive that the song is "too" emotional to perform?" a part of me was thanking the Lord above that this was just a telephone conversation because Darren was 'famous' for his temper and be face to face with that 'beast' isn't something anyone would want. "Yes," I replied quietly and turned to look at Gustav returned with concern as I continued, "I can only describe the lyrics as: memories - from - a - song. Since it can bring back unnecessary pain from memories people may have forgotten for a reason." "Okey." replied Darren back with a confused voice, but continued, "you don't have to decide now. Because I know you're busy with your new apartment and I know what stress can do to you, but you can call me when you have made your choice." explained Darren with an irritated voice and hung up. "He can be a real bitch, sometimes." I said loudly and put the phone back in my purse again before I opened up the door to the car to get in. Gustav just nod and did the same.  
He placed the key in the keyhole to turn it before we drove away. Pearl's apartment were about 45 minutes away from Mr and Mrs Conner's house.  
"I agree with you." I heard Gustav suddenly say. I looked up at him while he had his eyes on the road. "With what you said to Darren about the song. It's nice, but it's probably not a song any fan would buy a ticket to hear someone perform." said Gustav with a calm voice. I smiled at him before I lean forward to kiss him on the cheek. "What was that for?" he asked with an suprised voice. "As a 'thank you' for being you." I replied and smiled happily.

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